Changes Are No Good

By: Chibi

Chapter 1: “Son of Rage And Love”

*

The future isn’t what it used to be…

GUN Central Command, twenty-five years later. The commander, a blue hedgehog of no small fame, leaned back in his seat and played with a small electronic device. His second-in-command, a pale yellow hare by the name of Saffron, looked on at him in disdain. He was competent, even brilliant, but some days she wondered why she even looked up to him. “Sir,” the hare said, “Is this really the time to be doing that? ‘St. Jimmy’ has been striking at regular intervals, and provided that hasn’t changed…”

“But it isn’t time yet, is it, Saff?” the commander said breezily. “You need to learn how to relax.”

Saffron pushed up her glasses. “I know how to relax off-duty, sir. And must you keep calling me ‘Saff”? It’s most unpro—“

“Sir!” a skinny human interrupted, pressing the earpiece of his headset to his ear. “This just in! St. Jimmy’s robots were spotted over Rosetta!”

The commander sat up straight and turned off the electronic doodad. “Thanks, Horrocks.” He leaned forward in his seat and grinned. “All right, people, let’s get this party started!”

* * *

Rosetta, a suburb of Central City, was a safe place to live. This was partly because within that city dwelled a pair of heroes from twenty-five years past. Outwardly complete opposites, their bond remained strong throughout the years. To the point where they’re kind of sickening, their friends and neighbors would sometimes say.

However, on the night St. Jimmy struck this little suburb, trouble brewed in paradise…

“That’s right, I haven’t replied to any of them!” a shockingly pink male hedgehog shouted, “And personally, I don’t give a damn!”

“Language, dear,” the boy’s equally pink mother said from her computer desk, not even looking away from the screen.

“I’m nineteen—almost twenty!—I can say what I want!” the boy snapped back. “And besides, dad says worse for less.”

“True,” the older woman said as she hit backspace.

The boy’s father, a red-striped black hedgehog, muttered, “But that mosquito was a ‘fucker’…” He shook his head. “Maury, even if you haven’t decided what you want to do yet, you should at least get started in one of the colleges. I only want you to have some semblance of a normal life, not like me. You know, I—“

Maury sighed irritatedly. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Aliens, mad scientists, and, of course…”—(he took a deep breath and struck a dramatic pose)—“’MAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!’ I mean, God, so you once met a girl named Maria…”

“And suddenly that name, will never be the same, to meeeeeeee….” the woman at the desk sang quietly in response

“I never once said ‘Maria!’ like that!” the dark hedgehog countered. His eyes shifted to the woman at the computer desk. “And stop that, Amy. Honestly, who’s side are you on?”

“My side, of course,” Amy said brightly.

Maury adjusted his black vest and tugged at one fingerless glove. “Look, you two banter all you want; I’m going for a walk,” he said before stalking out the door.

“Maury!” Shadow exclaimed. He looked at the door, sighed, and sat down heavily on the couch. “What are we going to do with that boy?”

“Don’t worry, cupcake. Between the two of us, we can afford therapy for him,” the remaining pink hedgehog said. “Now come here and tell me if this is pretty or urple; this business has ruined my perception.”

The man stood up. “But what about…?”

“Give him a little space. He has your attitude, after all, and you know how you are when you’re cranky,” she replied.

Shadow walked over and put his arms on her shoulders. “I know. That’s what I’m afraid of…”

* * *

The streets of Rosetta were strangely quiet. It wasn’t particularly late when Maury left the apartment; the sun had just barely set. Still, there was a strange buzz in the air when he ran into his friend, a red bat, talking to what appeared to be a white echidna. Appeared to be, for he spotted a tiny pair of bat wings mostly hidden by her ribbon-wrapped dreadlocks.

“Sis, I don’t care what that man said to you; it’s not socially accepted to pop someone in the nose just for staring at your chest!” the bat chided.

“Uncle Sonic says it’s OK, and he’s lived on the mainland for most of his life,” the girl countered.

The bat held a hand to his face. “Sis, Sonic’s a—“

“Sonic’s a what, Rich?” Maury asked, crossing his arms over his fluffy white chest.

“A simmering ball of issues, if mom’s right,” Rich replied, “And I’m inclined to believe her.”

Maury held his ground and narrowed his eyes. “He’s a hero.”

“Heroes can have issues too, Maury,” Rich countered. “Anyway, you remember my sis Elly? I know you probably haven’t seen her since we were little, but…” he asked, gesturing to the echidna.

Maury relaxed and looked the young woman over, eyes stopping at her ample chest. “Well. Those must run in the family.”

“Careful, she might pop you one for looking at her jubblies,” Rich warned. He shrugged. “But then, since it’s Sonic-approved, you might enjoy it.”

As Maury opened his mouth to reply, Elly spoke up. “Your boyfriend’s really pretty, Rich.”

“PRETTY?!” the pink hedgehog gaped.

The bat chuckled. “Yeah, he’s pretty, but he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just social outcasts who banded together, eh, Maury?”

“I am not pretty,” Maury grumbled. “Girls are pretty. I’m not a girl.”

“He got picked on a lot in school about that kinda thing,” Rich whispered to his sister, who mouthed a silent “Oh.”

The pink hedgehog was snapped out of his funk by the wailing of several sirens. He looked around for a source and only saw a lone police car coming up the street. It came to a stop next to them. One of the officers inside the car, a red-shelled armadillo, rolled down the window and asked the trio, “What are you kids doing out?! Didn’t you hear the warning?”

“Warning?” the pink boy echoed.

The officer turned up the radio so they could hear a female voice saying, “—robots linked to the terrorist ‘St. Jimmy’ have been spotted over Rosetta. All citizens are to stay in their homes or seek shelter immediately. Repeat, robots linked to St. Jimmy have been spotted in Rosetta. All citi—“ An explosion followed by screaming and finally static was then heard.

“It’s started, Mighty,” the rabbit at the wheel stated grimly.

Officer Mighty turned the radio back down. “You kids better run along home and fast.” He turned to his partner, “Looks like we got a job to do. Let’s go, Mary!”

Rich and Elly watched the car pull away. “This is bad,” the bat said.

“Who’s ‘St. Jimmy’?” Elly asked. “And what’s a terrorist?”

“I’ll tell you later, sis,” Rich replied. “Right now, we gotta get off the streets. Maury, your place is closer—“ he said, turning to his friend. “Maury?”

Maury was off in another world. “An actual attack, right here in Rosetta! We can’t run away from this!” he exclaimed. “Just imagine, history going on right under our noses!”

“Maury, we’ll be history if we don’t get somewhere safe,” the bat stated flatly.

The pink hedgehog was undeterred. “C’mon, Rich! Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Rich gave him an irritated look. “Somewhere behind my survival instincts and common sense. Maury, you’re a skinny geek who, despite having parents who can level a town, has so far only shown you can summon a teeny-tiny sorta-mallet. What’re you gonna do if we encounter one of the robots?” A high, girlish scream was heard. “Yes, you’d—huh?!” He whipped around in time to see his sister punch an oddly-rounded beetle-shaped robot with enough force that it busted through the wall of the building across the street. “Holy…”

Maury’s jaw was practically scraping the ground. “Wow. If that’s how hard she hits, remind me never to look at her cleavage again.” He composed himself and tugged at his vest. “But see? We’re perfectly safe while she’s around!”

He soon found himself grabbed by same vest and being dragged off by the bat. “We’re. Not. Staying,” Rich told the hedgehog. He looked back at the girl as he walked. “Come on, Elly, let’s get out of—ow!”

Cold metal pressed against the bat, and he could see out of the corner of his eye that the hedgehog was staring dumbly at something ahead of him. “… I just walked into one of the damned things, didn’t I?” Rich asked. Maury slowly nodded. “As your dad would say, ‘FUCK.’”

“Rich?” Elly said, slowly backing away from another robot and towards the boys, “I see your ‘fuck’ and raise you a ‘we’re screwed.’”

“All right, everyone,” the bat said as a third robot closed in, “No sudden movements…”

A tense few seconds ensued, no one willing to move and provoke the machines. Then, without warning, shots rang out. Elly looked around for the source. Rich winced until the robot pressing against him fell. Maury had only one word to say: “Dad.”

The black hedgehog lowered the handgun and walked toward them. Another pistol remained holstered on a belt, counterbalanced on the other side by a small compartment likely containing ammunition. “And your mother said I should’ve waited for you at home. Are you all right?”

“Y-yeah…” the pink hedgehog replied.

“We’re OK, Mr. Rose” Rich said in a high, unnatural squeak.

“Thank you,” Elly said. “I would’ve done something, but the one was on top of Rich and…”

Shadow glanced at the smashed robot across the street. “Your doing, then? You really are the echidna’s kid.” He waved them over with his free hand. “It’s too dangerous for kids out here. This way.”

* * *

When they reached the building, the two Rose family members found it with more holes than they remembered it having. Shadow swore and tore into the place, followed closely by his son, who was now holding a small, long-handled mallet. The bat, torn between worry and exasperation, cried, “Oh, now you bring out something that could have been remotely useful, Maury?!” before following him. Elly looked around, shrugged, and calmly went in after the others.

Inside the apartment, there was broken furniture, bullet holes in the wall, and the smashed remains of what was a large insectoid robot. Amy stood before it, breathing heavily and clutching her mallet. She thought she saw it twitch and hammered it a few more times before her legs gave out on her and she fell back into her husband’s arms. “I’m getting too old for this,” she mumbled.

“Are you all right?” Shadow asked, guiding her to the nearest unbroken seat.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “A little shaken up, but all right.” She laughed weakly. “I was in the middle of writing. It was a little like being caught looking at porn by my mom, only I was writing it and ‘mom’ was smashing up the place.”

Shadow held her tightly. “Just as long as you’re all right. I don’t know what I’d do…”

“I do. You’d tear this ‘St. Jimmy’ guy to shreds, bring him back to life, and do it again,” Amy said. “In fact, I bet you’re already thinking about it now.”

“You know me too well,” he told her with a small smile.

“God, you two are sappy even when you’re talking about killing and porn,” Maury complained, poking the trashed mech with his own mallet.

“I think it’s sweet,” Elly defended.

“Mom and dad were sweet together once…” Rich muttered to himself.

Shadow finally let go of his wife and asked her, “Did they get the emerald?”

She shook her head and pulled out a large green gem. “Nope. They tried, but it didn’t get very far.”

“Good, that’s one less thing to worry about…” Shadow said. There was mewing at his feet and something rubbing against his leg. He looked down and saw a dark gray housecat. He scooped up the feline and cooed, “Mint! Is daddy’s widdle baby all right?”

Rich snickered, Elly went “Aw!” and Maury looked about ready to die of embarrassment. Shadow gave all of them a stern look and said, “This doesn’t leave this room, understand?” He got a nod, a suppressed snicker, and an eye roll in response. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

* * *

Later, in north Central City…

“‘St. Jimmy’ was at it again,” an older man with mismatched eyes told his friend as he turned off the television.

“So he was,” the friend, an overweight man with an improbable mustache replied. “You know what I need you to do.”

The man with mismatched eyes nodded. “I’ll contact my source in the morning. You had better get to the bottom of all this before I get arrested and she gets court-martialed, Ivo.”

“I will, Gordon, I promise,” the overweight man told him. “This madness will be stopped before it gets completely out of hand. It has to be…”

*

End Chapter One

Chibi’s notes:

Finally! I’ve well and truly kicked off this fic, which has been floating around in my head for ages. Many thanks to Typical for basically spurring me on to pick the idea back up and being a soundboard for ideas, and thanks to my dear pard for putting up with my rambling and cackling.

See you all next chapter! <3