True Blue

By Chibi-chan

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I’m Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog! The world’s only supersonic hedgehog! Loved and regarded as a hero by many! With lots of friends who’ll give me a hand when I need one! And always grinning, despite the danger! Nothing bothers me!

… except…

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t have some oh-so-tragic past. I’m not an orphan, or a runaway… OK, maybe the latter, but it’s not like they don’t know where I am. My bank statement tells them that. Handy little things, those ATM/debit cards. One day, I decided adventure called, and my parents figured, since I’d go whether they liked it or not, they’d rather not have me starving in the streets. Of course, they don’t have that much cash lying around, so I’m on a budget. Oh well.

What? You didn’t know I had parents? I didn’t just suddenly appear out of nowhere, you know. It’s just… As first, it was more of a stupid rebellious thing. But now… I have some pretty crackpot enemies, if you wanna call ‘em enemies. Now, I don’t want my family caught in the crossfire.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah, yeah, “… except…” It figures; I have a lot of friends, if you really can call them that, and fans, and admirers, but I’m ten times more anti-social than Shadow will ever be. Maybe that’s part of why I’m always on the go. I don’t know. I don’t know myself that well. But I gotta act like it. People pin their hopes to me; I can’t let them down. I can’t let anyone down. I just can’t.

That’s probably why I run from Amy. Part of it is, of course the whole “I LOVE YOU BEAR MY CHILDREN” fangirling thing, but another part… I don’t want to let her down either. I don’t know what to say when she comes at me with that hopeful, lovestruck attitude. I like the girl, I really do, but not in the way she wants. Well, right now, anyway. Maybe if she calmed down some, I might reconsider.

Tails… I’m like his big brother, maybe even like his father. There’s so much I want to say, but… He’s a smart kid, and he’ll be a great man someday, but he’s still a kid. He doesn’t need to be burdened with my problems, if he even understood them.

As for Knuckles… I still don’t entirely get him. I do think he’s finally getting that I’m an ally, and no, dammit, I don’t want his stupid emerald. All that obsession isn’t good, but you know something? He just might be actually starting to relax about the stupid thing. That doesn’t mean he still won’t punch a would-be thief’s head off, but he seems a little less high-strung. I kinda wonder what would happen to him if I never wound up on Angel Island. Would he just be up there forever, until a thief finally killed him and took the emerald? Ack, what a morbid thought. And another thing, why do so many old pictures made by the echidnas have a hedgehog that vaguely looks like me in them? It’s kinda creepy.

Shadow the Hedgehog. The so-called “ultimate life form”. Bah. If he’s so great, then why does he have the memory of a goldfish? I know, I know, cheap shot, but I don’t really care. It’s kinda sad, tho’, that Grumpy McAngstypants seems closer to his friends than I am to mine. (And he gets along scarily well with Amy. That disturbs me for some reason.) Oh, and how many lives does this jackass have? I get all depressed over his death, and then he pops up again! And still with the memory of a goldfish, no less. “What’s with this hedgehog who looks like my twin?” indeed! (Oh, and an open note to GUN: I am blue. He is black with red stripes. Are you color-blind or just stupid?)

Um, yeah. Still a little bitter about that. I don’t like being in small spaces. Call me claustrophobic.

But you know what? Even Shadow pinned his hopes on me. I made it back to ARK because he didn’t. He wanted me to live. After all the fighting, all the threats, he wanted me to live. Why? I dunno. Maybe he thought I could protect everyone better than he could. Maybe he just finally wanted to rest. (Of course, we know how well that turned out if that was the reason.)

Everyone has so much faith in me. They think I can do anything. But what if I fail? And one day, I might. What happens then? Will everyone die? Be enslaved? Or will someone else rise and take my place? I don’t want to die. I don’t want anyone to die. But twice, everyone could have. The whole planet could have been destroyed. If Shadow hadn’t come around the second time, it would have. And with Metal Sonic, I had help. I wasn’t enough alone. I’m beginning to not be enough alone. And that terrifies me.

And I can’t tell anyone, because I’m the hero. I’m the one who’s supposed to save them.

But they’re learning, at least the ones close to me. They’re learning how to save themselves. And maybe, maybe someday soon I won’t have to keep running away from everything. Maybe I can finally say…

I’m Sonic the Hedgehog, and I need a hero too sometimes.

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End

Chibi’s notes:

Why do so many Sonic introspectives make him all grumpy and varying shades of bitter? I always saw him as an ultimately hopeful, dorky Boy Scout type trying so very hard to look cool and mostly succeeding. Mostly. But that’s just me. And remember, he’s still only 15. Still a kid, really. I dunno about you, but I’d worry my ass off if I was in his situation. And who would you relate to about that, especially when your choices are a little kid, a squealing fangirl who wants to marry you, and a couple of grouches who wouldn’t hesitate to smack you around? X.x So, hence, this mini-fic. Yay for thinking too hard about fictional blue hedgehogs!